Don't Tell Daddy
by Baby-Cellophane
Summary: a songfic based on Don't Tell Mama, from the musical, Cabaret. Wanda and some other gals have a nightclub act just don't tell her father!


Don't Tell Daddy  
Based on the song "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret  
[we see a seedy, 1930's-esque nightclub, located somewhere in Germany;  
Munich or Berlin. We are looking at the interior, which is a dimly-lit  
room complete with tables and chairs, a bar, and, of course, a stage. This  
is a large, luxurious stage, thick red curtains with gold tassels, large  
spotlights, the works. Kurt is center stage, in his true-blue 'natural'  
form, wearing a tuxedo and holding a microphone. His tie is slightly  
crooked.]  
  
KURT  
And now, meine damen and herren, mesdames et messieurs, ladies and  
gentlemen - the Mutant Club is proud to present to you a most talented  
young lady from America (ja, America)! I give you - and don't forget to  
give her back when you're finished with her - the Toast of Bayville,  
Fraulein Wanda Maximoff! Isn't she beautiful? And she is hot, hot, hot!  
[Kurt exits, and Wanda enters, accompanied by music, applause, and a bunch  
of other girls; Kitty, Tabitha, Rogue, Rahne, and a girl that we do not  
know. She has curly brown hair. They are all wearing skimpy red outfits  
and fishnet stockings.]  
  
WANDA  
Daddy thinks I'm still in an asylum  
A spooky form of lock-up  
In the southern part of France  
Daddy doesn't even have an inkling  
That I'm working in a nightclub  
In a pair of lacey pants  
So please, sir, if you run into my father  
Don't reveal my indiscretions  
Give a working girl a chance  
[the music picks up]  
So hush up!  
Don't tell Daddy!  
Shush up!  
Don't tell Daddy  
Don't tell Daddy, whatever you do  
If you had a secret, you bet I would keep it  
I would never tell on you  
  
ROGUE  
She's breaking every promise that she gave him  
So won't you kindly do this gal a great big favor?  
And please my sweet patater  
Keep this from said pater  
Though this dance is not against the law  
  
WANDA  
You can tell my stalker, that's all right  
He gets thrown out every other night  
[we see Todd being dragged from the room by Fred]  
  
TODD  
Aw, man!  
  
WANDA  
But don't tell Daddy what you saw!  
  
KITTY, ROGUE, RAHNE  
Daddy thinks we're on a tour of Europe  
With a couple of our school-chums  
And a lady chaperone  
TABITHA [waving at Jean]  
There she is! Hi, Jean!  
  
TABITHA, KITTY, ROGUE, RAHNE  
Daddy doesn't even have an inkling  
That we left her back in Antwerp  
And we're touring on our own  
  
WANDA  
So please sir, if you run into my father  
Don't reveal my indiscretions  
Just leave well enough alone  
  
ALL  
Hush up!  
Don't tell Daddy!  
Shush up!  
Don't tell Daddy!  
Don't tell Daddy, whatever you do!  
  
WANDA  
If you had a secret you bet I would keep it  
  
ALL  
I would never tell on you!  
  
WANDA & MYSTERY GIRL  
You wouldn't want to get me in a pickle  
And have him go and cut me off without a nickel  
  
ALL  
So let's trust one another  
And keep this from my father  
Though I'm still as pure as morning snow!  
ROGUE [pointing to Rahne]  
You can tell my room-mate here and now  
She's my agent, anyhow  
  
ALL  
But don't tell Daddy what you know  
  
TABITHA  
You can tell Kit's boyfriend  
They might fight  
Because now he's working my spotlight  
  
KITTY  
Lance!  
  
ALL  
But don't tell Daddy what you know  
  
WANDA  
You can tell my brother  
That ain't grim  
If he squeals on me, I'll squeal on him  
[she grabs Mystery Girl by the hair and gives her curls a quick tug . . .  
and a curly brown wig falls off of Pietro's head. He waves.]  
  
ALL  
So don't tell Daddy, mister  
Don't tell Daddy, please sir  
Don't tell Daddy what you know!  
Ssh . . .  
Ssh . . .  
  
WANDA & PIETRO  
If you see my Daddy, run for your life!  
[applause; Kurt re-enters.]  
  
KURT  
Wanda Maximoff! Thank you, Wanda! Isn't she beautiful? And she is hot,  
hot, hot! And thank you Kitty, Tabby, Rogue, Rahne, and Pietro!  
[they exit and the lights go down.] 


End file.
